Rowan, Rohan, If you ever grow up and read this... please hear me. I am
still fighting. please forgive me for not winning and for not being able
to protect you from the corruption that dares call itself lawful.
Please understand I love you will all my heart.
None of this ever should have happened but it did and I will never give up on you. Not for all the stars in the sky or all the money in the world.
I am still fighting. I can't sleep because im still looking for ways and still fighting.
I have a lawyer who has not called me back since telling me she filed
the appeal a couple months after filing it... i have no idea
as of current what is even going on. I suspect that like so many others
they are trying to drop me through the cracks because if someone
actually fought helping me we would win, its really that messed up and
backwards of a case. If someone actually did what they could do, we
would never even be in appeals. But we are and ive no idea my sweet
little boys, when if ill ever even see you again and I feel as if i will
go mad with worry about you and not knowing if your dead, alive, hurt,
or anything at all. The people who have you, it was said in court by the
worker to the judge on the record that they agreed to keep in contact
with me and let me know how you were doing, maybe even let me see you as
the worker testified just cutting contact would be harmful to us all,
not just me but to you as well. They lied of course, though im not sure
if it was the worker to soften what they were doing to the judge and
make her feel better about being a monster who knew the law wasn't and
hadn't been followed the way it should have been or feel better about
not enforcing the burden of proof better than one doctor who talked to
me over a year before court saying i couldn't bond while many people
even those ripping us apart were saying we were bonded both sides,
meaning it wasn't just you but me too who was bonded, very much so.
I may never be able to explain to you, how people can do such things,
but i can tell you that not for one second did i ever give up, did i
ever not love you, did i ever not do everything for you. They gave me
things to do that seemed impossible, i did them and more. I never
slacked off on any of it. I want you to know, even now i am searching
for a way, fighting tooth and nail.
I love you, my dearest little suns, moons and stars.
-Your mother
Thursday, February 20, 2014
Thursday, February 6, 2014
Because lies in anything annoy me
So i was looking things up about how to help adjustments with girth... yes this is about sex, for once.
Can you hurt a woman with your girth and can you help her adjust?
Yes.
Some women take a lil more time to adjust than others.
Beyond lubrication their are many finger techniques out their to help her adjust.
Even after a year with my dearest i still end up needing help. Just because a woman has had children or has can have children doesn't mean its not difficult for her sometimes. geez... childbirth isn't painless but sex should be unless both make the decision to include pain as they find it pleasurable. I am looking up the finger techniques myself but if i were you id check out tantric excersizes and ways to help her through i dunno... a woman's forum. So far all the male forums are like "my penis is huge all around and I have never had any problems" bullshit. If you have not had issues then your not as big as you think you are.
My partner actually thinks he is small... he isn't. Anyway, try using fingers. If a woman is torn too many times or has been raped as well, she gets scar tissue which actually makes her easier to tear, which is where im looking things up. Some women are just smaller than others physically down their just like how some men are bigger or smaller than others. If you help her adjust, like for instance try this finger technique i found call the scissors, gently of course. it apparently helps make the adjustment much easier for her.
Even if a woman tears easier than others if you do take care of her you can avoid tearing and the fragility some experience from having a lot of scar tissue in their vagina. For those who lack maturity, yes i said vagina. get the laughs out now before you read on because this is serious.
Now a couple of things that i have seen from some posts online over time needs to be said. First off, never put your finger or your penis or anything inside her before you get her wet. Get her wet first. Some women have less wetness than others so lubricant is useful in these instances though a lil nibbling and light sucking on her body(neck, back of her knee are examples of what some women are turned on by, you have to learn her individually for no woman is the same). Do not ever put in more than one finger at once, start with one. Unless you have a porn star who likes it that way and tells you they do... just remember a normal woman is not a porn star.
Start with one finger using the scissors motion you would with two only with one finger. Then make her orgasm with this one finger and using other such techniques easily found online. I am a tad bit too embarrassed to list some of them. Doing this will not only help her with her adjustments but also will go where lubricant used from a bottle, cannot go. truth is, their is no lube able to really substitute for the real thing, though i have heard from other ladies some are good with the real thing, though not without it.
Now, after you get her as is, try gently to put the second finger in, if she flinches or it seems too tight back off and keep going. be patient, she will be ready for you even if by this point she may beg for more. be the man and make sure this is a mind blowing experience.
This is just the basics.
Once you can get two fingers in, do it all over again with those two fingers. Moving your fingers gently like scissors, but be careful. at first it will be tight and you won't be able to do as much with the movement. even the slightest movement like that will help and she will feel it.
...
Many women nowadays are used to being objectified and expected to have sex with someone just because they are dating them. Many things come from being raped, and the rape ratio is high, higher if you actually talk amongst women as a woman who has been raped. Most women don't want to be part of the numbers or don't want to talk about it or hear someones pitty when they answer or they might have someone near them they want to hide that shame from because they feel it makes them less of a woman.
No matter what the situation, be aware that their are many ways to lessen the pains of sex. If sex is uncomfortable or painful, their are more ways to make it otherwise than lubricant and all of them require you to man up, or if your lesbian... woman up. lol these same techniques can also be ways to hit more than one of those "spots" at once on some women, depending on the woman.
I saw how difficult it was to find something like this so i decided to just put it out their.
Just because a woman's vagina can stretch to have children doesn't mean its ok to just expect it to just... stretch around you and expect her to just put up with pain and discomfort because you can't be patient and take the time to make it a pleasurable experience for her. In case it was forgotten, having children and stretching to have them, is very very painful, not at all what sex should be unless she decides she likes it like that. few do like some pain and rarely that kind of pain. Makes sense since we have more nerves in our cloiterus than a man does in his entire penis. Just jumping in is painful for a woman, so any time you think about it just imagine someone kicking you in the nuts(unless your like a friend of mine and like that sort of thing, in which case imagine your equivilant to that).
When you stretch her you also can give her more intense orgasms as well. Still snug around you but also not so stretched her ability to clench you in orgasm is choked for lack of a better word, with you inside of her. And according to my beloved it is one thing your not just robbing her of, but yourself as well.
Some women don't know about these things, I didn't.
The same as always apply... apply. If she at any point says for you to stop, you stop. If she says no more, it means no more. If you force her, then it will become rape so always stop because that will scar her for life and it will only tell her that she cannot trust you for you cannot even protect her from yourself so what will you do if someone else tries to hurt her? it brings about a whole slew of problems and emotional grief for her... so just don't.
Well... someone had to say it.
-Luna
Can you hurt a woman with your girth and can you help her adjust?
Yes.
Some women take a lil more time to adjust than others.
Beyond lubrication their are many finger techniques out their to help her adjust.
Even after a year with my dearest i still end up needing help. Just because a woman has had children or has can have children doesn't mean its not difficult for her sometimes. geez... childbirth isn't painless but sex should be unless both make the decision to include pain as they find it pleasurable. I am looking up the finger techniques myself but if i were you id check out tantric excersizes and ways to help her through i dunno... a woman's forum. So far all the male forums are like "my penis is huge all around and I have never had any problems" bullshit. If you have not had issues then your not as big as you think you are.
My partner actually thinks he is small... he isn't. Anyway, try using fingers. If a woman is torn too many times or has been raped as well, she gets scar tissue which actually makes her easier to tear, which is where im looking things up. Some women are just smaller than others physically down their just like how some men are bigger or smaller than others. If you help her adjust, like for instance try this finger technique i found call the scissors, gently of course. it apparently helps make the adjustment much easier for her.
Even if a woman tears easier than others if you do take care of her you can avoid tearing and the fragility some experience from having a lot of scar tissue in their vagina. For those who lack maturity, yes i said vagina. get the laughs out now before you read on because this is serious.
Now a couple of things that i have seen from some posts online over time needs to be said. First off, never put your finger or your penis or anything inside her before you get her wet. Get her wet first. Some women have less wetness than others so lubricant is useful in these instances though a lil nibbling and light sucking on her body(neck, back of her knee are examples of what some women are turned on by, you have to learn her individually for no woman is the same). Do not ever put in more than one finger at once, start with one. Unless you have a porn star who likes it that way and tells you they do... just remember a normal woman is not a porn star.
Start with one finger using the scissors motion you would with two only with one finger. Then make her orgasm with this one finger and using other such techniques easily found online. I am a tad bit too embarrassed to list some of them. Doing this will not only help her with her adjustments but also will go where lubricant used from a bottle, cannot go. truth is, their is no lube able to really substitute for the real thing, though i have heard from other ladies some are good with the real thing, though not without it.
Now, after you get her as is, try gently to put the second finger in, if she flinches or it seems too tight back off and keep going. be patient, she will be ready for you even if by this point she may beg for more. be the man and make sure this is a mind blowing experience.
This is just the basics.
Once you can get two fingers in, do it all over again with those two fingers. Moving your fingers gently like scissors, but be careful. at first it will be tight and you won't be able to do as much with the movement. even the slightest movement like that will help and she will feel it.
...
Many women nowadays are used to being objectified and expected to have sex with someone just because they are dating them. Many things come from being raped, and the rape ratio is high, higher if you actually talk amongst women as a woman who has been raped. Most women don't want to be part of the numbers or don't want to talk about it or hear someones pitty when they answer or they might have someone near them they want to hide that shame from because they feel it makes them less of a woman.
No matter what the situation, be aware that their are many ways to lessen the pains of sex. If sex is uncomfortable or painful, their are more ways to make it otherwise than lubricant and all of them require you to man up, or if your lesbian... woman up. lol these same techniques can also be ways to hit more than one of those "spots" at once on some women, depending on the woman.
I saw how difficult it was to find something like this so i decided to just put it out their.
Just because a woman's vagina can stretch to have children doesn't mean its ok to just expect it to just... stretch around you and expect her to just put up with pain and discomfort because you can't be patient and take the time to make it a pleasurable experience for her. In case it was forgotten, having children and stretching to have them, is very very painful, not at all what sex should be unless she decides she likes it like that. few do like some pain and rarely that kind of pain. Makes sense since we have more nerves in our cloiterus than a man does in his entire penis. Just jumping in is painful for a woman, so any time you think about it just imagine someone kicking you in the nuts(unless your like a friend of mine and like that sort of thing, in which case imagine your equivilant to that).
When you stretch her you also can give her more intense orgasms as well. Still snug around you but also not so stretched her ability to clench you in orgasm is choked for lack of a better word, with you inside of her. And according to my beloved it is one thing your not just robbing her of, but yourself as well.
Some women don't know about these things, I didn't.
The same as always apply... apply. If she at any point says for you to stop, you stop. If she says no more, it means no more. If you force her, then it will become rape so always stop because that will scar her for life and it will only tell her that she cannot trust you for you cannot even protect her from yourself so what will you do if someone else tries to hurt her? it brings about a whole slew of problems and emotional grief for her... so just don't.
Well... someone had to say it.
-Luna
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